Reward Charts User Guide, Rules, and Tips

Using The Reward Charts

By following the principles and the “rules” of using a reward chart which you will find below, you will give your reward plan the best chance of success.

However the following are some more specific tips on how to get the most out of the reward charts found in the Member Access area.

Getting The Most Out of The Reward Charts

Our reward chart downloads are designed to be flexible in regards to the actual mechanics of using them.

Some examples:

• Print the reward chart and allow your child to complete the chart by coloring-in the “sticker spots” with a “special” color, or special pen or crayon etc (by making the color or pen “special” for their chart, the earning of the “sticker” becomes more powerful).
• Buy some cheap sticker books at the local stationary supply store, and use those stickers to complete the chart.
• Print out the included sheet of “stickers”. A good way to get your child involved is to have them cut out the circles. When your child is awarded a sticker have them glue it in place using a simple glue-stick etc. (These are the exact size of the sticker spot).
• Extra special tip: Once you have printed your reward chart, you can make it reusable by getting it laminated. When your kids earn the sticker spot, get them to color it in using whiteboard markers. When the reward chart is completed you can wipe it off and start again!
• Extra special tip 2: Most printers are capable of printing on card as well as paper. Printing the “coin” tokens on the heaviest card recommended for your printer will give the tokens a real feel of substance. Or you can print on paper, and stick onto a cardboard backing.

How Can I Help Change My Child’s Behavior?

It is important to first establish what is normal behavior for a child. That may depend on the child’s age, personality, and physical and emotional development. A child’s behavior may be a problem if it doesn’t match the expectations of the family or if it is disruptive. Normal, or appropriate, behavior is usually determined by whether it is socially, culturally and developmentally appropriate. Knowing what to expect from your child at each age will help you decide whether his or her behavior is normal.

Children tend to continue a behavior when it has a pleasant consequence attached to it or it is rewarded, and stop a behavior when it is ignored. Most importantly for us as parents is to be consistent with our reaction to a behavior.

If a behavior is a problem we can:

• Decide that the behavior is actually not a problem because it is appropriate to the child’s age and stage of development.
• Attempt to stop the behavior, most effectively by ignoring it.
• Introduce a new preferable behavior and reinforce it by rewarding your child.
• Some common behavior modification strategies that we can use are Modeling or Observational Learning, Positive Reinforcement and Time-Out/Loss of Privileges.

Modeling or Observational Learning

Possibly the most powerful strategy in modifying or shaping behavior. A child naturally observes and models the behaviors of those closest to them. For example a child who constantly observes politeness and kindness in their parents, and how others respond positively to it, is more likely to exhibit these behaviors. Likewise a child who constantly witnesses yelling and bullying in those closest to them are more likely to take on these behaviors when dealing with others.

Above all else, set a constant, positive example.

Positive Reinforcement

It is an accepted view that children learn very early on, the associations between behaviors and consequences. It follows that positive reinforcement can shape behavior by providing the child with a pleasant consequence for engaging in a desired behavior.

Create a positive learning atmosphere around your child. Guide them toward appropriate behaviors by reinforcing their good behaviors. Recognize their efforts. Respond to their attempts. Ignore their bad or inappropriate behaviors (remember attention is a powerful reinforcer for children. If you constantly “tell off” your child you are in effect rewarding them with your attention and it is likely that the unwanted behaviors will continue).

There are many ways to acknowledge good/appropriate behaviors such as by using praise and by using reward tools such as our RewardingKids Reward Charts and our Star Coin Reward Currency. These are a more concerted and targeted tool in positive reinforcement. It allows children to take ownership in a behavior modification program while setting achievable goals in attaining desired behaviors, and they can help children become more aware of their behavior.

This reward strategy, used along with the principles of positive reinforcement, can help break the “negative cycle” we often experience with parenting. When children are defiant and oppositional (which in itself may be perfectly normal behavior as a child tests the boundaries we set), we as parents are often prompted to issue a punishment, and the punishment (particularly when delivered in anger) can prompt the child to be vengeful and misbehave again. Here we have the “negative cycle” whereby the child’s misbehavior prompts the parent to punish, and the parent’s punishment prompts the child to misbehave.

It is also important to examine how we respond to our children. Often we overlook desired behaviors because they are not troublesome, and we respond more often to undesired behaviors. A positive reinforcement approach would be to acknowledge/praise appropriate behavior and decrease or cease disapproval or reprimands for undesired behavior.

Time-Out/Loss of Privileges

Sometimes a more dramatic approach to shaping your child’s behavior may be needed. Timeouts involve removing children from a situation following a negative behavior. This can help children calm down, establish control, end the inappropriate behavior and re-enter the situation in a positive way. Decide ahead of time the behaviors that will result in a time-out (usually tantrums or aggressive or dangerous behaviors). Choose a time-out place that is uninteresting for the child and not frightening. When the time-out is over, don’t discuss the bad behavior but look for ways to reward and reinforce good behavior later on.

When withdrawing privileges, try and choose something that the child will connect to the behavior. For example if your child refuses to pack away his or her toys, then access to those toys may be denied.

Note that research suggests that the pleasant consequences experienced through positive reinforcement may be a more powerful motivation for children, rather than the punishment scenario whereby the child experiences an unpleasant consequence (time-out, loss of privileges etc.) These punishments may have their place in the discipline of the child, but consider that a positive, proactive behaviour strategy can defuse the negative cycle and improve our parent-child relationship.

The Ultimate Goal of Using a Reward Plan

Using a reward plan is a proven, extremely useful and enjoyable way to help your child improve his or her behavior and to give both your child and you, some level of control over the process. Most importantly it is a way to help your child break negative patterns of behavior and move toward better behaviors that feel good. With this process we are engaging a plan based on behavior modification, whereby a child receives stars, stickers, or other rewards directly after performing a desired behavior. In doing so you are engaging a fundamental principle of behaviorism – your child is learning to associate good behavior with a rewarding or pleasant outcome.

Used with consistency and following the general rules and principles of a reward strategy, your child will learn to be motivated not by the extrinsic rewards on offer (which we must acknowledge as a powerful motivator), to a more intrinsic reward – those rewards not on offer, the rewards that come from within – the reward a child feels when they have achieved a goal, or behaved well, or when they have given up an ingrained contrary behavior.

These are the rewards your child may not expect to receive. With this understanding, children begin the process of being motivated by their own desire to feel good. Consider, that sometimes for your child to discover the unexpected and automatic rewards inherent in using positive behaviors, you have to create a happy result that your child can readily anticipate, envision, and choose to work toward. Once there, these unexpected rewards become an additional pleasant consequence, and over time these unexpected rewards can become the motivation for good behavior in and of themselves.

Using a reward chart and/or reward currency is a wonderful way to help your child see and experience the true benefits of great behavior.

Upon further examination, these unexpected or inherent rewards become even more evident. Your child will naturally grow as a result of their successes, and the relationship between you and your child will involve more positive interactions. It’s win-win all around, for example:

• Your child’s self-esteem will be enhanced. When attention is paid to children’s good behaviors rather than concentrating on the bad ones, children feel better about themselves. They see themselves as appreciated. They experience a sense of accomplishment as they work toward and achieve their goals. At every point of recognition their self-image will grow.
• Children have a natural, innate desire to become independent. When using a reward chart children can exercise that need for independence, they can choose to behave in a way that will bring them closer to, and achieve their reward. The distinction is that they are responding to their own desire to reach their reward, not to your demands that they behave the way you want them too. With a reward chart in use, it is not your desires that are paramount, but rather your child’s and they will feel it that way. Now unburdened with “do this” and “do that”, they are left to make choices of their own.
• The interplay between you and your child become more enjoyable. When children are trapped in patterns of poor behaviors, or the “negative cycle”, they often drag their parents into that same “negative cycle”. Parents can respond badly in this situation – when a child is rude or behaves poorly, often parents can snap back, criticize, threaten, or generally withdraw their affection, and your child will further respond to this, or withdraw into themselves. This pattern repeats itself, and the cycle continues on and on. Adopting the principles of positive reinforcement coupled with a reward based strategy can put a stop to this.
• You allow your child to experience the satisfaction and pleasure of working toward a goal, while there is an underlying lesson of delayed gratification taking place.

What Can I Use a Reward Plan For?

• Educational achievements: Practicing, reading, writing, learning times tables, completing homework etc.
• Daily activities: Washing hands, brushing teeth, getting dressed, getting ready for bed etc.
• Developmental stages: Sleeping through the night, potty training, becoming dry at night, learning to swim.
• Encouraging good behavior: Using manners, tidying up, staying at the table for dinner, sharing.
• Getting rid of problem behavior: Thumb sucking, hitting and kicking, tantrums (over 3’s), swearing, refusing to do chores.

In fact you are limited only by your imagination and by what may be age and developmentally appropriate for your child.

What Rewards Should I Offer?

Choosing an incentive/reward is as important as choosing the behaviors for the chart. Involve your child in this process as much as you can, with the understanding that if your child doesn’t like the incentive or reward, then there will be little motivation. Also consider that the more your child is involved in the planning process leading up to the use of the reward chart, then the more “ownership” they will feel, which will give them a greater desire to see it through.

With younger children you might consider offering them a list of rewards to choose from. Using material rewards is fine, but understand that the use of non-material rewards is just as important, and in fact can be much more of a powerful motivation. For example an activity with a parent (any time spent with parents is much more important to children than we might acknowledge).

The following is a list of suggestions only, and is limited only by your imagination. Generally material rewards should be kept small and inexpensive, but there may be times when a child is overcoming such a large hurdle that it may be appropriate to offer larger, more expensive items. Whichever rewards are chosen to use however, never underestimate how important your time is for your children.

Smaller rewards may be:

• Crayons, paper, pencils, coloring-in books.
• Bag of marbles.
• Small toy such as plastic animals, cars etc.
• Watch a movie/show of your child’s choice.
• Special treat in lunchbox.
• Choosing breakfast, dessert etc.
• Special snack after school.
• Visit to the $2.00 shop.

Special treats at home:

• Using the phone/tablet.
• Playing dress ups.
• Having a sleepover with a friend.
• Choosing a tv program.
• Making playdough.
• Making a cake with mum or dad.
• Planting a pot plant.

Special treats outside home:

• Staying with friends or family.
• Trip to the park or picnic.
• Going to the movies.
• Riding bike.
• Visit the zoo.
• Go swimming.
• Visit the duckpond.
• Going to the beach.

Aren’t I just Bribing My Child?

A common misconception is that rewarding good behavior is the same as bribing your child to behave well. There is an important distinction that must be made.

Bribery is paying before behavior is delivered. With bribery, parents pay in advance for the “promise” of delivery. However, with payment in hand, many kids fail to deliver. The child, having already received payment, may renege on delivery while still enjoying the payment. To make matters worse, often a bribe is given to encourage a child to do something they have already refused to do (the classic example is the harried mum giving the whining child a lolly/candy, toy etc. so they can complete their weekly grocery shopping). The bribes tend to teach children that they can get what they want by refusing to cooperate. This pattern of using bribes can be convenient and usually works, but in the short run. It quickly becomes addictive for the child and ineffective for the parent.

On the other hand, reward or reinforcement, is based upon paying after delivery. So rather than buying behavior, we are rewarding behavior that has already been delivered. For the child the reward reinforces their good behavior. Examples of offering a reward might be “once your room is cleaned up, you can have a new book” or “after you clean your room, I will take you to the park.” Along this same line is that tried and true reward, “when you eat all your dinner, you can have your dessert.” They get their “payoff” after meeting their obligation.

This way of looking at offering rewards to your children for engaging in certain behaviors, is the child’s version of us as adults receiving our paycheck at the end of our working week. Given a consistent framework, rewarding your children for appropriate behaviors can teach them a valuable life lesson – be prepared to work for what you want.

Rules

There are many rules that may be followed in order to allow for the best opportunity of success, but there are three very important principles that underlie the successful use of reward charts.

Be Positive: Studies have consistently shown that positive incentives are extremely effective in developing change in behavior. These have also demonstrated how a consistent flow of negative comments, criticism and punishment can badly effect children’s self-esteem and close children off to positive learning opportunities the parents are trying to create. The effective use of our reward charts allow for the parents to emphasize the positives in their child’s behavior.

Be Consistent: Critical to the success of our reward charts is in being consistent in reinforcing good behavior. Without being overbearing, find opportunities to consistently remind your child about the chart and what it is all about (remember the chart is meant to be fun, keep this in mind when reminding your child), and keep the chart in a central and visible location to help with your child’s and your awareness of the chart and the related outcomes. Be consistent with the allocation of stickers and keep up your side of the bargain when handing out the rewards. This will show your child that you mean business when using the charts and help gain and maintain their trust in the reward system, and in turn maintain their focus and motivation.

Be Realistic: It is vital when setting goals that they are realistic and attainable. A child will quickly become overwhelmed if you expect too big a change too quickly. Be sure to set goals for good behavior that are comfortably demanding and allow for success if your child puts in a reasonable amount of effort. Take into consideration your child’s age along with their physical and emotional stages of development.

Almost all of the following rules are underpinned by these three critical principles. Some are self explanatory and some may require further thought. Some may not completely apply to your child (for example, if your child is older, he may not respond positively to constant reminders or to constant overt praise). Some are repeated in various forms but all in their way are important to varying degrees (according to your child’s personality and their personal level of development). The rules are in no particular order.

• Keep it simple. Use one to three charts at a time.
• Explain the chart ahead of time.
• Choose the rewards ahead of time in consultation with your child. This will allow your child to feel involved and help create an ownership over the process.
• Never take away stickers for misbehavior. Reward charts are a positive behavior strategy. Once they’ve earned the sticker it’s theirs to keep.
• When they don’t earn one and they argue, or get upset about it, express sadness that they didn’t get it, emphasize that they will have another chance soon, and move on.
• Never renege on an agreed to reward. If a child has earned it, then they deserve it. Not following through on the reward will cause mistrust.
• Keep the charts in a highly visible place so they can be seen as a constant positive reminder.
• Be realistic. The charts need to be achievable in relation to the child’s age and development. Children will become disheartened quickly if the expectations placed on them are too high too soon.
• Stay positive and concentrate on praising success.
• Involve your child before you start using a chart. They must want to tackle the issue and must also understand how the chart is going to work.
• When creating tasks for your child, it helps if you make them small and visually observable. This way it is clear to both you and your child that the expectation has been met. The tasks are either done … or they aren’t. For example water the plants, feed the dog, pick up clothes off the floor, wake up with a dry bed etc.
• Be specific when setting tasks. Inappropriate tasks may be “be good”, “be nice to your brother”, “help parents” – tasks like these take the power away from your child because suddenly the parent is the judge of whether this happened or not. Stick to things your child can feel a sense of accomplishment for.
• Be consistent. If you show a loss of interest in the chart then your child is likely to be less motivated.
• Ensure that all carer’s are rewarding the child consistently (eg. parents, grandparents, baby sitters, child minders etc.)
• Use lots of verbal praise and stay positive.
• If you have any concerns regarding your child’s behavior, always consult a professional such as a GP, mental health practitioner, teacher or health visitor etc.

The process in simple terms:

1. Work out the problem or inappropriate behaviors. Clearly define an appropriate behavior or task.
2. Work out what rewards may be on offer for your child when they achieve the goal of filling their reward chart with well earned stars. (doesn’t have to be a material reward).
3. Follow the rules.
4. Allocate a star and heap praise on your child for behaving appropriately or for what was defined in the first step. Ignore their bad behavior or contrary behavior.
5. When they reach their goal of completing their chart, hand over their reward – they have earned it.

This of course, is a very simple break down of the whole process. Please read the entire PDF completely for a better understanding of the principles involved.

Helpful Hints to Remember

• Try to notice any good behaviors, even small ones.
• Let your child know that you have confidence he or she will behave well and achieve the rewards.
• Don’t wait for perfect behavior to praise your child.
• Catch your child being “good” as often as you can.
• Pointing out the chart to relatives and friends is also a great way to reward your child and draw attention to their good behavior. This works best with younger children.
• Watching for how often your child is well behaved can encourage you too. It also gets you into the habit of recognizing when your child behaves well.
• Make gaining a sticker easy at first. Your child needs to see how much fun using a reward chart can be. Targets can be made harder as time goes by. For example, it may be that you reward sitting on the potty initially rather than actually using the potty.
• If the chart doesn’t seem to be working, rethink the targets that you have set.
• When setting targets, particularly for older children, it is important to consider that the behavior you are rewarding is the child’s interest, participation and efforts, not the child’s performance, talent or ability.
• Keep promises. When you follow through on your promises, good or bad, your child learns to trust and respect you.
• If the reward chart isn’t working or stops working, you may need to adjust the way you are using it. Make sure it maintains the child’s interest.

Tips For Praising

Because the use of our reward charts within a positive reinforcement framework requires constant and frequent praise, it is important to consider the quality and appropriateness of the praise given. Here are some tips which may be useful:

• Most importantly avoid the opposite of praise – criticism. Criticism, particularly hurtful criticism, is no help to your child and damages your relationship.
• Try to praise the behavior, not the child – children tend to think in definite terms rather than abstract, so a child might readily think of themselves as “good” or “bad” depending on whether they have behaved well or behaved poorly. This can contribute to lowering a child’s self-esteem.
• Praise is very rewarding in itself and can be a valuable behavior shaping tool.
• Try to keep praise specific – it shows that you are taking notice.
• Children need praise and it is very important to acknowledge a child’s efforts, but try not to overdo it. You don’t want your child seeking your approval and applause for every little thing they do.
• Praise genuinely – praise can lose its power if you constantly shower acclaim on usual and expected behavior.
• If you overdo praise, or gush over every small thing, or make up fake kudos, your child will see through them and may start to question even genuine praise.
• Sometimes it may be more appropriate to simply use acknowledgement such as a wink, a smile, eye-contact, a nod etc – it is more of a dispassionate praise that can help shape how a child pleases themselves rather than perform for approval.
• If you are praising genuinely and appropriately you will avoid “over praising”, remembering that you don’t want to raise praise “junkies”.
• Whenever you can, try to turn the praise back toward your child. For example rather than saying you’re proud of her (which is perfectly fine), you might say “I bet you’re proud of yourself”. This can help develop you child’s internal motivations.
• Be “present” for your child when praising. Get down on their level and make eye-contact.
• Give praise immediately after good behavior.
• Take notice – there are many genuinely praiseworthy moments in our child’s life that we simply miss.
• Most importantly avoid the opposite of praise – criticism. The power of praise can easily be undone by the power of criticism.

Why Aren’t My Reward Charts Working?

What happens when the reward charts lose their power, or they stop working? Or what if the the reward charts never really started working for your child in the first place? Here are some of the most common reasons why a reward chart may stop working, and some of the “tweaks” which may be needed to kick-start the chart.

• Your child might simply be too young to start with such a reward plan: Using a reward chart requires your child to have a handle on a few fundamentals such as patience, the difference between “now” and “later”, self control, and delaying their gratification. When these things are lacking the effectiveness of the reward chart will be limited.
• The reward isn’t enticing enough: The kick-start to the reward chart is the motivation your child has in wanting to complete the behavior chart. Of course the main aim of a reward chart is to tap into your child’s “inner motivation”, but that’s a developing process. To effectively start and maintain a reward plan your child needs to desire the reward.
• The behavior is too hard for your child to change at the moment: Sometimes your behavior change expectations are too high. Your child might be too young, they might be affected by other things happening in their life (starting school, new baby in the house, divorce etc), or other tensions in the house which may be preventing the reward chart working to it’s full effect. Dealing with these underlying feelings first will help the reward plan. Sometimes setting the bar a little lower might also be considered.
• Not everyone is consistent with the reward plan: Could it be that other adults and caregivers in your child’s life aren’t completely on the same page when it come to administering the rewards chart? If you’re being consistent with your expectations, praise, and rewarding but some other significant adult isn’t, then the full effect of using reward charts will not be realized.
• You’re trying to stop or change behaviors that others are performing: It’s unlikely that you child will stick with the reward plan for very long if others are doing what they’re meant to stop. For example are they expected to stop hitting if their older sibling hits, or do they stop using inappropriate language if Dad let’s a few expletives slip around them?
• Your child is attached to your response to their bad behavior: This can be a tough concept to grasp, but often a child becomes attached to negative attention. It can easily become their “pay-off”. It stems from the concept that any attention given from a parent is an extremely powerful motivator.
• Your child’s personality might be a factor: Some kids hate the feeling of being “controlled”, and might consider a reward plan an attempt to control them. It’s true that using reward charts are in some ways an attempt of controlling our kids – for example “if you stop doing that then I’ll give you this”. The trick is to enhance your child’s Independence throughout the whole process. Put the control firmly back in their hands, then it becomes “their” decision to stick with the reward plan and reap the benefits.